Just Crap in General

Coffee pots. Why in tarnation can't Mr. damn Coffee and Black & Decker & Cuisinart and Bunn and the Frumious Bandersnatch Coffemaker Company make a pot that doesn't drip all over the damn place when you are trying to pour water in the reservoir or a cup of joe from a brewed pot.

People at the ballpark - Hey, if you're sitting behind home plate, watch the damn ballgame and don't jabber on you're cell phone all nine innings. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know all your friends are calling you and telling how they see you on TV. The rest of us just don't care. It's just annoying to see you. If you want to talk on the freaking phone for 4 hours, just stay home in front of your 52-inch plasma and give the tickets to an 8 year old kid that will enjoy the game.

Music stores - There ain't none, and that really makes me cranky. You can buy all you want from Amazon, but you gotta wait for it, and pay a shipping charge, and you can't damn just wader the aisle and browse around. Yah, if you want top-40 crap, you can go to Wal-Mart or Target, but try to find something there that's actually worth listening to.

CD's - Once you actually get one delivered from Amazon, these things are better protected that the gold in Fort Knox. Shrink wrapped and then you've got a strip of tape that is designed to come off in 87 pieces and leave a strip of adhesive on both sides of the jewel case so it will stick to every other jewel case it comes in contact with. Tell you what, music company - Cranky Old Geezers are about the only people buying actual cd's. The whippersnappers are just stealing it off the internet. If you piss us off too much, we'll just say the hell with you. I've got lots of music to listen to already. I don't need to buy another CD ever.

Experience - Look, we've got lots of experience. That makes us great at what we do. It the overuse of the damn word that's making me cranky. The "browser experience" for example. I saw a reference to the "Member Experience". It just sounds silly. Give the word a rest.

Gift cards are tacky. I give you a $25 gift card to Target, you give me a $25 gift card to Target. Wouldn't it be easier if we just went out and bought what we wanted for ourselves and eliminated the middleman? I've got a revolutionary idea. Why doesn't everyone spend a few minutes thinking of something special that a loved one would want and go get that for them? Maybe giftwrap it? Anybody think that will catch on?

Cell Phones - Get rid of the cell phone when in an elevator, in a restaurant, in any crowded space, when checking out at a store. The call is not that freaking important that it trumps social niceties. If it is, you shouldn't be in an elevator or shopping. You should be at home or at your desk. Anywhere out of my way.

Nuisance Food - I am old enough now and cranky enough now to stop eating nuisance food. You know what I'm talkin' about. Oranges with too many seeds. They're a pain in the ass. Supposed filleted fish with too many bones. You worry so much about choking on a bone that you'd rather just chuck the fish and get a sandwich. Any kind of too gooey sandwich that slides and drips all over the place. Spareribs with too much slimy sauce that gets all over you hands and just makes a big mess. Get the point? Got any others to add?